Kune marudzi mazhinji evanhu vane simba, asi vavariro yavo ndeyokumanikidzira munhu kuti aite zviito zvinodiwa pane zvaanofarira. Dzimwe nguva "munhu akanganisa" anoedza kudzivisa, uye dzimwe nguva achizvidira anobvumirana nemunyengeri, nokuti anonetseka kukwana kwezviri kuitika. Ichi chiitiko chinonzi inonzi gaslaiting.
Gazlayting - chii ichi?
Mumazana makumi matanhatu ezana ramakore makumi maviri chirevo chinoreva kushandiswa nekuziva kwevamwe vanhu pamusoro pezvokwadi yenyika yakavapoteredza yava chekuita. Iyo inodzokera kumusoro webhizimisi "Gas Light" (Gas Light) yakabva pana Patrick Hamilton "play of the angel" (1938). Makore makumi matatu mushure mekubudiswa kwechifananidzo, muAmerican feminist Florence Rush akadhindisa bhuku rinonzi "Chakavanzika chakasimba kwazvo: kushungurudzwa kwepabonde kwevana", izvo zvakapfupisa zvigumo pamusoro pemagariro epfungwa anotsanangurwa mufirimu yaGeorge Cukor.
Muchidimbu, kupisa muviri inzira yechisimba chepfungwa umo munhu mumwechete anoedza kuita kuti iye anopikisana naye anyeke. Achidzivisa kuziva kwake, anomanikidza interlocutor:
- kusava nechokwadi mumurangariro wako;
- kufunga zvisiri izvo chaizvo;
- vakarurama;
- kusava nechokwadi kwezviri kuitika uye kukwanisa kwekukwanisa;
- kuti afunge kuti akafamba nepfungwa.
Mhando dzekugadzirisa - girazi
Shandisa pfungwa yeumwe munhu uye kumumanikidza kuti atore pfungwa yaanoda inogona kuva kuburikidza nehutsika hwekuita uye kutaura. Pakupedzisira, iyo interlocutor (uyo ariwo akabatwa, uyo anogadziriswa) anofunga uye anoita seanorator. Nzira yavo inonyengera zvikuru inonzi gaslight, nokuti inokanganisa pfungwa yechokwadi. Mumwe chete akataura nechivimbo chemuvengi wepikisi "Kwakange kusina kudaro!" Unoderedza rutendo rwemukati wevatendi. Mutevedzeri wesimba:
- anonyatsoramba zvokwadi izvo zvinokosha kumunhu wake;
- inoratidza kufungidzira kusakwanisa - gender, age, muviri.
Kuzadza pakati pevakaroorana
Kune nzira dzechisimba pamusoro pemafungiro anowanzotora nhoroondo, vanhu vanoratidzira, vanotaura nhema. Vanhu vakadaro vanoreva nhema kune vamwe, zvichiratidza kuti maonero avo ndeechokwadi chete. Uyezve, "mvumo yakarambidzwa" inogona kushandiswa nevarume vakaroorana, kunyanya avo vanobvuma zvechisimba. Mushure mekukakavadzana nekurova, rumwe rutivi (gaslighter) rucharamba ruchiramba kukanganisa kwayo. Kunyangwe vasingazivi kuti chii chinopisa, vatongi vanoramba vachichishandisa kubudirira.
Mhirizhonga dzomumisha mune zvepfungwa hazvisi zvisizvo munzanga yanhasi. Kazhinji vanoshungurudzwa ndivo vanomiririra zvevakadzi vasina simba, kunyange zvazvo zvisati zviri pachena kuti nei varume vava Gazlayter. Pakutanga, munhu anenge ashungurudzika haanzwisisi kuti kushamisika kunowanikwa mumitemo ye interlocutor. Asi zvishoma nezvishoma unotanga kusahadzika kukwana kwayo pachayo uye zvakakwana inobvumirana nemashoko echisimba.
Kugovera vana
Chisimba chepfungwa chinogona kuitika muhukama hwevabereki, kubva kuvana uye kuvanhu vakuru. Mienzaniso yekushungurudzwa kweimba:
- Kana amai kana baba vanogara vachiudza mwana wavo kuti haasi akakwana uye anoita zvose "kwete sezvazvingafanira kuva."
- Mwana anoverengerwa kune chimwe chinhu chaasakwanisa kuchinja kuburikidza nezera rake: iye muduku uye haagoni kuzvigadzirira, kupa mazano, anopesana nevanhu vakuru, nezvimwewo.
- Amai nababa vanoruramisa chisimba mumhuri .
- Kana mwana akwegura achiita kuti vabereki vasakanganise zvavanenge vachiyeuka ("Ndakakuudzai (a), hamurangariri here?"), Uyuwo muenzaniso wegesi.
Chimiro chinowanzoitika chinogadzirisa nguva dzose kunzwa kwekusachengeteka uye kuderera mumunhu anotambudzwa, uye kunoderedza tsika dzake. Basa guru nderokuva nesimba rakazara pamusoro pemunhu uye kudzivirira iwe pachako kusina kunaka. Kusiyana nevanhu vakuru, zvakaoma zvikuru kuti mwana arwise musulator, haanzwisisi kuti ari kuiswa mumhirizhonga mupfungwa uye haagoni kupukunyuka kubva kumhirizhonga. Chigumisiro chakanaka kusazviremekedza uye kuputsika kwepfungwa.
Gazlayting kubasa
Nyanzvi yemhizha inowirawo munharaunda ine ngozi yepfungwa dzepfungwa. Vashandi vemunzvimbo chero ipi zvayo vanogara vachinetswa nevashandi vavo, vanovanyadzisa uye vanovatungamirira kudzimba dzakashata. Usingazivi kuti chii chinonzi gaslight, mutungamiri anogona kuchema pane imwe nzvimbo, akadana chero chinhu chisina kukodzera uye chinotyisidzira nekudzingwa. Uye mushandi anobata zvakanaka nemabasa ake. Mukuru we manipulator anoshandisa "karoti uye kunamatira" urongwa, ndiko kuti, maitiro maviri:
- Chokutanga anotsanangura pasi pekusava nechokuzara uye benzi.
- Ipapo anotaura kuti "anotora zvinhu zvose pamwoyo."
Unogona here kupisa rudo?
Gaziter munhuwo zvake ane zvido zvake uye zvishoma, kunyange zvazvo anoshandiswa kuisa pfungwa uye kushandisa vamwe. Vanhu avo vakasangana nemuvengi akadaro muhupenyu hwechokwadi havakwanisi kurarama nekukakavadzana kunotangira. Inonyanya kuoma mumhuri. Mubvunzo mukuru unofadza mukomana gazlaytera: angada here? Kumwero mukuru, manipulator anozvida iye pachake, asi hapana munhu ari mutorwa kwaari. Dzimwe nguva zviito zvake hazvisi zvechisimba . Panzvimbo yekurwisa uye kunyengera, iwe unogona kukanganisa kuwedzera kwekucherechedza, asi rudo rwakadaro haruzove rwechokwadi.
Gazlayting - nzira yekudzivisa sei?
Gazlayt uhu hukama hwemhando inokosha iyo nguva dzose inomuka pakati pevanhu vepedyo kana avo vanogara vari pedyo (vashandi pamwe navo, vekuchikoro, vavakidzani, nezvimwewo). Kuti urambe kushandiswa mukutungamirira kwako, unogona kuedza kuita zvinotevera:
- Kana zvichibvira, zvachosa zvachose ukama nechisimba kana kuti uite zvishoma.
- Ita kuzvivimba, simba rako, kukwana.
- Apo paunorwisa chiyeuchidzo chakashata, kuitira kuti pave pasina kusava nechokwadi, nyora pasi mapeji ose anokosha mubhuku rekunyora kana pane dictaphone.
- Usatungamira pane matanho nekutsamwisa. Kana hurukuro ichienda kune chiteshi chisingadikanwi, rega.
Mafirimu nezvemoto
Kana paiva nekufungira kuti kupisa kuri kuitwa kune munhu, chii chaunofanira kuita kuti udzidze zvakawanda nezvazvo? Nzira dzemhirizhonga dzepfungwa uye kushandiswa kwe "kushandiswa kwechokwadi" kunofukidzwa nemifananidzo inofamba yemhando dzakasiyana-siyana. Mukuwedzera kune tepi yaitamba "Gas Light" (1944), iyo yakapa zita zita remoto zita racho, aya mafananidzo akadai se:
- "Rebecca" , 1940. Inofadza Hitchcock pamusoro pemudzimai ari kutyaira pamba imba itsva.
- "Ngirozi yemugwagwa" , 1940. Yechivigiro chekutanga cheHamilton.
- "Dogville" , 2003. Chimwe chemafirimu anozivikanwa zvikuru nezvepfungwa dzepfungwa.
- "Mwana weRotmary" , 1968. Hondo yePolanski inofadza inoita kuti munhu wose ari mu "chokwadi chakasiyana".
- "Duplex" , 2003. Rakanaka pamusoro paGranny, uyo ari kutyaira vashandi vatsva.