Rudo ndiko kunzwa kunotikurudzira nekusimudzira isu. Kana tichida, tinochinja. Hatsva manzwiro uye hupenyu hunokosha. Asi kakawanda tinozviwana tiri mukutapwa kwechido chedu, tichirasikirwa isu uye tichitambudzwa nekunzwa kwerudo rusingadiwi.
Psychotherapists kubva kuCalifornia vakaita mifananidzi pakati pekuda kwakasimba, iyo yakava chidhakwa chinorwadza chemishonga inodhaka. Uye imwe uye imwe kukanganisa kunotungamirira pakuzviuraya. Kufanana nevanozvidzivirira, vakadzi vari murudo "vanogara pasi" mukurwadziwa uye kutambura.
Kakawanda sei tinonzwa mazwi: "Ndagadzirira chero chinhu kwaari!", Asi isu tinokanganwa kufunga, asi tinoda here? Pasina mubvunzo, vakadzi vaibayira mabasa avo, avo vakaisa upenyu hwavo pamakumbo omurume wake, avo vakava musungo wavo uye vakararama hupenyu hunofadza shure kwevakaroorana navo - vakakodzera kuremekedzwa. Asi kana vaine mufaro apo murume anobata nerudo uye anoonga chibayiro chakadaro. Asi zvakakosha kuva muranda we rudo kune munhu asina kukodzera rudo urwu, uyo anongonakidzwa chete neuranda hwako, anokuseka iwe uye haudziviriri manzwiro ako?
Mamiriro acho akajairika: jaya iro rinoramba richiparara pane imwe nzvimbo, hariti kupindura runhare uye haruzviti iro. Kunyora kwezana zana nguva yake, iwe unoenda mukutsvaga mudiwa. Akagadzirira kuenda chero chinhu, chinonyanya kukosha, kuti akanga aripo. Chinhu chako chisingaoneki chinonyora mifananidzo yakaipa uye mheremhere pane chimwe chinhu chakaitika kwaari. Enda kunzvimbo dzaaida kuishanyira uye kumutsvaga mune imwe yevariro neshamwari (zvakanaka, kana neshamwari!) Kunwa doro. Arive uye asina kumira. Kutuka iwe uye rudo rwako, kurova imba nekutenda kwakasimba kuti hauzombozonyadzisi iwe pachako uye kumhanyira mumwe munhu asingadi iwe. Asi zvose zvinodzokorora zvakare. Iwe wakava muranda we rudo rwako.
Dzimwe nguva rudo rusina mufaro runogara kwemakore, richiunza marwadzo uye kutambura chete. Muchiitiko ichi, zvakakosha kuunganidza zvose zvinoda simba muchikanda uye uzviudze iwe pachako "Mira."
Sei usingave muranda we rudo?
Kana rudo rune matambudziko chete, zvino munhu anofanira kuponeswa kubva pairi. Iyo inogona kukuparadza iwe somunhu uye inotungamirira kuupenzi. Kuti uzvibvise iwe unofanira kuzvida iwe pachako.
Kuti uzvibatsire, shandisa dzimwe mazano kubva kuvarume vepfungwa:
- Kudzvinyirira. Nzira yebhanhire yakave ichizivikanwa kwenguva refu uye inoshanda zvikuru. Paunotanga kuona vamwe, vaduku vari pedo newe, iwe uchabva kune vakafa. Ichi chichava chiito chekutanga kune mushonga. Asi kana ukama hwako hwakakuneta iwe zvakanyanya zvokuti haudi kufunga pamusoro pevarume mumutemo, saka shandisa chimwe chinhu sechikwata. Inogona kuva chinhu chitsva chokudzidza, kudzidza, basa, chero chinhu, chinhu chikuru ndechokuti basa rinotora pfungwa dzose pamusoro peanoda.
- Debunking ye myths. Munhu wese anoziva kuti mapofu vanhu vari murudo sei. Edza kuona zvakajeka uye uchaona kuti zvikanganiso zvakakura zvivanze yako wakasarudzwa. Drop it kubva pedestal uye unoziva kuti hazvina kukodzera rudo rwakadaro rwechisimba. Usava muranda wekuda munhu asina kukodzera.
- Ida iwe pachako. Iwe wakanga uri mukutsvaga kusakundikana kwe rudo nekucherechedza kwehafu yako yechipiri kwenguva refu zvokuti wakakanganwa nezvako uye
chiremera chavo. Zvinyatsocherechedza iwe, iwe wakachenjera, wakanaka, mutsa, nezvimwewo, wawana chii mumunhu uyu asina hanya? Iwe pachena hauna kutevera nzira yake.
Rudo runotendeutsa munhu kuva muranda runouraya. Haakwanisi kuuya nechinhu chakanaka muupenyu hwako. Uye kana iwe uchinge wakasungwa, zvakanyanya kuoma kubuda. Chero zvazvingava, zviri kwauri kuti uone kana iwe uchida kuva muranda we rudo. Ingoziva kuti mushonga we "kutengesa" kwako huchaitika apo iwe pachako pachako unonzwisisa kuti iwe unorwara uye unoda kubvisa rudo urwu rwouranda.